


Technoblade Vs. The multiverse

by Multi2134



Series: Technoblade never dies. [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Original Work
Genre: DEAR GOD HE'S TOO POWERFUL, Techno convinced a 19-year old femboy to bop himself in the hed, its 2:00 am i should be sleeping, jesus christ my mind is dark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:53:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27205499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multi2134/pseuds/Multi2134
Summary: in a mysterious realm, a realm of pure white, black and hatred, a pig stands among them. countless members who try to take him down, but he know's what he's doing. he may not have a stand, or spin, or hamon, or... whatever omni-cate has, but he has prot-4 armour and a sharpness 1 diamond sword. let the battles commence!
Series: Technoblade never dies. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1986119
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

Techno stood on the limp body of the diamond man. His sword against his throat. "Skeppy, as much as you try to defeat me i will come back, twice as strong, and your blood will be sacrificed to me. strike 2, my friend." He drew his blade away and was gone. disappeared into nothing. actually, where was he? the floor was a bright white. a plane flew over him, he ducked. he looked up and saw a zeppelin flying above him. he drew his sword and two objects fell from it. the crater created was massive. like the force that had been exerted on the two had been reflected to the ground. the two stood up. one had 1800s clothing and a purple top-hat, the other, brown hair with a single red beret. 

"Curt, you got any idea on who this is? much less, where we are?" the man in pink had asked the other. the man supposively as 'curt' shook his head and looked at techno. Techno readjusted his blade in his arms and leaped at 'curt'. "Hey! Curtis!" The man in pink pulled out a revolver and shot techno. he dodged with ease, moving from left to right, slashing the man in pink upside his head. the man in pink was flown backwards, and shot a harpoon from his gauntlet? the harpoon landed on techno's sword and techno easily cut it off. the man in pink fired again, this time, tearing up a chunk of land, flying towards techno. Techno blocked it in return and sliced through it. Techno went numb, something was rubbing against his leg. He looked over and saw a green, spinning ball gnawing away at his leg. He collapsed, and the pink man leaped on top of him, kneeling down. the other one pulled out a pistol and shot the one on top of techno. Techno socked the one on top of him in the face and grabbed the spinning ball from his leg, throwing it at the other man, which crippled the other man in the leg. the bullet that had hit the man on top sunk down into the ground and techno slashed at 'curt', ending his life. "Curtis!" the pink man wiped the blood from his mouth and shot his harpoon at techno, it connecting in techno's arm and techno slashed at the wire. finishing off the pink man. The zeppelin above them turned around and circled around techno.

techno felt a pain. He turned around and saw he was being shot by arrows of some sort, but he couldnt see them. he slashed around him, hoping to hit something and slicing the head off an invisible creature. a loud groan was heard from above and a headless body came from above. Techno grabbed onto the harpoon launcher from the corpse of the pink man and shot it at the zeppelin, flying up there and slicing the head off the person he saw. it was a purple man, with no distinct features. the cannons on the ship then dissipated, and Techno walked around, finding the nearest person, and a grid was formed around techno. Techno launched at the man, only to be teleported backwards, and the man pulled out a gun. firing a few bullets at techno. Techno dodged to the left and saw the bullets coming at him from the other side. He dodged that and launched towards the man, slicing off his fingers, stunning him. Techno took this chance to speak. "Where am i?" the man only responded with groans and Japanese. "Wrong answer." Techno sliced him in the chest, leaving him to bleed out. Techno looked behind him. and saw a man with blonde hair, thin and several balls on his jacket. 

"To be frank, i dont know myself." The man replied to techno's earlier comment. Techno pulled out a crossbow from his cloak, aiming it at the man. the man's skin was metallic, almost. he couldnt pierce that if he tried. The man lifted his head, and Beams of light penetrated the ship's deck. "there's nobody left here." The light penetrated the top fuselage and an explosion could be heard. the ship was crashing. Techno smiled, and put down his crossbow, replacing it with a shield and ax. 

"Just me and you."


	2. Wrecking ball requiem: Love train.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go by so quickly... the captain of the SNA ship "Led Zeppelin" Faces off against the blood god himself. and the captains got a few tricks up his sleeve.

The man threw a ball at Techno, to which techno blocked with his shield. two smaller domes popped off of it and hit Techno in the legs, bringing him to the floor. Techno Stabbed his sword into the floor as the zeppelin crashed into the beaming white ground. the part techno was on was at a 85* angle, meaning techno had to latch on for his life, or be consumed by the fire that was consuming the ship. The man was on a... pegasus now? Who are these people? The man threw another ball at Techno and techno narrowly dodged it, stabbing his shield into the deck and hopped on it, pulling out his sword. both of the balls the man threw went back into his hands, and Techno aimed his crossbow at the pegasus, fired, and the pegasus flew towards techno. the beams of light from the man grew higher and brighter. Techno fired another arrow at the man. The arrow was merely deflected off and caused an explosion off to the side. "Now, sir, let me tell you something." Techno pushed down his crossbow. "I lied." A plane zoomed above and it kamikaze'd into techno, causing noticable damage, it exploded more than it should have, and techno noticed bombs set up on the deck. Techno aimed his crossbow once more, but he instead hopped over the deck, causing several explosions, but techno made it in time, he shoved his sword into the side of the bottom of the ship, and glided down to the floor, where he ate a golden apple. The man's horse collapsed of blood loss and the man dissipated into a portal. only to reappear behind techno, Socking him from behind. Techno fell to the floor and aimed his harpoon at him, the harpoon glowed yellow as it aimed towards the man. The man's eyes widened and techno smiled, shooting it at him as the harpoon wrapped around the man's legs, forming a rectangle, squishing the man in half, and there were two corpses. one of them more rotted than the other. He grabbed the rotten one, and the arm fused with his arm, and same with the other one. everything else fused with him and he screamed. Techno screamed in pain as his arm flowed with pink, not the usual skin tone pink either, but neon pink. and he felt the same. and heard some walking in the distance. "More blood for the blood god?" Techno talked to himself, and was pulled down by chains, suddenly. "Nice work, virtual." The man called 'virtual' sat there as the chains held techno down. the other man, whom was with him was very old, with two large shoulder pads with a head and spikes. "You manage to take down the entire crew of Led Zeppelin, ay?" Techno broke free and a red aura surrounded him. He grabbed his sword and cut off the head of the man. 'Virtual' held out a pistol and his other arm was on fire. Techno sliced through that, a noticeable hole in the man. "Holy shi..." The man's life ended and techno pulled out his blade. a group of others charged at him. "Oi! that guy got the scouts!" A man with a red beret screamed as a few robots fired what looked like star wars blasters at him. Techno dodged these with ease, chopping them to bits and stabbing the guy in the heart. Another with a hand on fire connected a blow to Techno's face, before techno swiped upwards, splitting them in half. Another one summoned chains to pull Techno down, shoving him into the ground, and almost tore his head off. Techno cut them off and threw his sword at the man who used chains. A man with fangs approached him and threw two spin-balls at him, in which he blocked with his sword, being sent backwards a bit, before throwing them back at him, who was stabbed in the heart. their heart was still there so Techno assumed it was a vampire, you know, as a joke, and stabbed a sharp end of his crossbow into it, killing the man. A man jumped from above and attempted to stab techno with a rapier, to which techno replied with a 'That's mine now' and grabbed the blade. slicing the man;s arm off of it and throwing it into the man. in the end there was one single boy. he looked no less than 20. He was short, real short, and aimed a pistol with shaky hands at techno.


	3. intermission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Techno takes a break. oh, and also he convinces a 19-year-old femboy to shoot himself in the head.

Techno put his sword back in his cloak. "Pal, you wouldn't shoot me. i can read you like a book." The boy dropped the gun and almost screamed. "See? we can talk this out. now, where am i?" The boy shook a bit before mustering enough courage to speak.

"I- I dont know.. i was doing my shift at the hospital and then-" 

"No, its fine." Techno shoved his sword into the ground and sat down. "Where do you work?" 

"I prefer not to say.." 

"No worries." The boy sat down with techno and the boy ruffled his hair. "ill give you a chance. a sporting chance. ill spare you if you do one thing." The boy looked at him. "Take that gun, hold the barrel at your chest." The boy did so, his eyes teared up. "You dont have to do this, i can be your way out." The boy smiled and chuckled. 

"not how i expected to go out... with a bang." The boy leaned up against techno, the gun aimed at his head and subsequently, Techno's chest. The boy clicked the gun and the bullet fired. Techno got up with a limp. two hearts. glad he gappled. He ate another golden apple and walked along the pile of bodies. how many has he killed now? 13? who cares, he needs to get out of here. as he got up, he collapsed, falling asleep. the last words in his mind. were the last words of the boy.


	4. And so the adventure begins.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a summary. yes.

When Techno woke, there was a loud ringing. the floor was moving. Several pieces of the floor were shifting, pushing the bodies into pits. the pits got set on fire and techno stood. the environment around him finally stopped glowing pink, and was taking the form of grass. Mountains pierce the ground and the ground shakes. the zeppelin is back in tip-top shape. It looks abandoned. the burn marks and bloodstains on the ship were still there, however. Techno approached the deck and entered the cockpit. there was a single slot for something to be placed. Techno pulled an arrow from his cloak and shoved it in. He pulled it backwards. a loud whirring was heard and the zeppelin took off. he looked over at the walls of the cockpit. 100 meters off the ground. Techno attempted to move the steering wheel, but it was stuck. Techno shot the wall with his harpoon-arm-gauntlet-thing and he got on top of the steering wheel. he pressed a button on the gauntlet and he went zooming towards the harpoon. Techno latched onto the steering wheel, and it made a few rusty noises and jagged movements before it stopped, and the wheel went crazy. The wheel moved and Techno laughed. "One step closer to finding out how to get out of here." Techno pulled a lever and the zeppelin rumbled, moving forward. He spun the steering wheel and moved towards the mountains. 

He flew high and fast. But he heard something that wasn't the regular engine sputter or propellers turning. It was a plane motor. He looked out the window of the cockpit and saw two men in a plane. One gesturing for Techno to stop. Techno obliged and let them on-board. Once on board one of the men started talking to him. "Greetings! My name iz Oye. this here is Va. im afraid you are in possession of our airzhip." The man had a thick german accent. 

"Under some terms of agreement. Tell me who i just went on a mass spree on." The men looked at each other. The one named 'va' spoke up. 

"This ship housed members of a faction known as 'The Seven nation army'. There was captain horn, his stand was called 'wrecking ball'-"

"Im sorry, stand? like from that one anime everyone talks about?"

"Didn't know there was an anime, but yes. He recently upgraded it, he could travel universes and redirect damage, which could only be parried by the golden ratio."

"Was he the guy with the wacky balls?"

"Yes, wrecking ball spin. Now there was others, such as Dr. Desai, he had under pressure, Como, with chocolate disco, Curtis with paint it black, for a bit we housed someone from another universe with the same stand as curtis." Techno remembered the first fight he had here. "There was purple groove, with his 'lets go'. and that one girl whos name i forgot. she manned the guns." 

"So, this was quite the warship."

"Indeed. Me and Oye's stands are Oyecomova and 16th century greensleeves."

"What about the entire faction of people that attacked me?"

"Alternate universes cannot provide explanations for everything, but there is no doubt you encountered a cate or two."

"Im sorry?"

"A single person could be so diverse that each of its counterparts could match them in skill. did one use chain abilities on you?"

"Two, actually. a few had cybernetic advancements, and at the end there was this kid." The air suddenly got humid. and clouds built up around the ship. grey clouds. they rushed over to it and examined it.

"brings me to the next topic. Some will most likely come back, abilities are so diverse they might be able to return after death."

"Well, thank you, Oye, Va, but ill need this ship if im going to survive."

"Im sorry?" Techno kneeled down and grabbed the two by the shins, dropping them down below. Techno watched them plummet, and heard the same plane noise. And Oye came back in a plane, Va on top with a revolver. Va fired a few shots and they hit the ship. Bombs appeared and techno Dodged to the side as the deck of Led Zeppelin caught fire. Techno pulled a crossbow out from his cloak and fired at the two, hitting Oye enough to launch him off the plane. Oye plummeted to his doom and Va Had a look of fear in his eyes. He Jumped onto the railing of the ship and a bird figure appeared above Oye, Punching Techno far enough to the point where he was in the cockpit doorframe. Techno leaped inside and noticed the bombs on his arm. He connected some dots in his head and sliced off his arm. Va was stunned by this and walked in. "Such virtue, to sacrifice a limb for one's life. you have my respect."

"Well you dont have mine!" Techno grappled onto Va and pulled out his ax. Jumping up and delivering an axe-crit to the head, chopping it off. Techno took this moment and grappled away. He zoomed into the medbay and scuffled around the cabinets. He found what he needed. a single snow-tear. it will serve as the perfect substitute. He quickly grabbed some shrooms from the cabinet and threw them into boiling water. Techno sighed and collapsed to the ground. He mustered the courage to get up, and drunk the pot of red liquid. His arm quickly grew back. "Good as new." Techno stepped back into the Ship and lowered it to 75 meters. The clouds began raining and the parts of the ship that were on fire stopped burning. Lightning brew in the back and Techno walked into the captains quarters. pushing down a picture of 'curtis' and 'wyatt'. lovers, perhaps? whatever. he needed rest. and so he laid down in the bed and fell asleep.


	5. we believed~ we'd catch the rainbow~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A man has come back from the dead.

Techno awoke to knocks on the door. He reluctantly reached over and opened it. "Who goes there-" A man he had killed a few days before stood before him. Aiming a gun at Techno. 

"You or the ship." 

"You can take the ship from my cold, dead hands." Techno sliced the man's head off. "Get toasted, nerd." The head shot out veins from its head and attached itself back on the body. the man shoved his arm into Techno's throat, Sucking the blood from it. Techno cut it off and stabbed the man in the heart. the man groaned, and techno pulled out. He swiped towards the man and the man was knocked off the ship. The man was expected to fall down, but he was suspended in the rain. "Oh, great another stand user. i mean, how many am i going to fight?" The man's eyes lit up purple, and lasers shot out, piercing the walls of the ship. Techno almost swore but instead Jumped off the ship, latching on to the sleeve of the man in the rain. He stood on top of him before realizing his leg was dissipating. He quickly jumped back to where he was, underneath the balloon of the zeppelin. Techno shot an arrow at The man suspended in air with his crossbow. It disappeared mid-air. Techno bolted to the cockpit, stopping on the way to notice how the floor was magically repaired from the burn marks. He walked into the cockpit and turned on the throttle. This ship moved forward a bit, but then stopped. Techno sighed. He slowly pulled an arrow from his cloak and looked at it. "So... vampire?" Techno took off the head and used his sword to sharpen it. He walked back out to the man in air. He looked at the zeppelin and pulled a harpoon from his pocket.

He strapped the stake to his harpoon and aimed towards the man in air. the harpoon glew yellow once more, and a mask was visible on the man's face. the man charged at Techno, walking on air. Techno took aim, and fired.

Techno was pulled towards the railing, almost falling over. He pulled his arm over the railing. the rain was showing signs of stopping. and the sun peered through the clouds. He pulled the harpoon back up, expecting a corpse, but instead found nothing. Techno looked at the back at the propellers. they were back there. Techno sighed and walked back in the cockpit, turning it on and heading north. "We win these." He whispers to himself, the sun shining on his pink skin.


	6. and the gods whisper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another mass fight? how could I! oh, but i did anyway.

Techno jumped down, perfectly timing his water bucket. the rope was still in his hand. He shoved an arrow into the ground and tied the rope around it. mashing it into the ground. as the sun went down, he heard a noise in the distance. He approached the direction of the sound and drew his blade. A horde of men all riding horses charge at techno. "Jesus christ, what do the people here have with horses?" Techno charged at them as well, slicing at a brown horse. the man on top shouting something and throwing one of those spinny-balls at techno. Techno blocked with his shield and shot an arrow at the guy, it hit his leg. another guy rode towards him. Techno smirked and grabbed onto his arm as he ran by, holding a blade up to the man's throat. "Son, what is your name?"  
"Pocoloco, sir." The man shivered in his words.   
"Keep riding, pocoloco." Techno swore he saw something purple climb off of pocoloco's back, but he couldnt care less. He shot a crossbow arrow at another horse, hitting it directly in the head, the rider falling off. The rider quickly recovered and turned its legs into... chicken legs? no, that cant be right. The other man slashed at the horse techno was on, and techno slice the chicken-man in the chest, dealing significant damage. the man running coughed and lagged behind. Techno shot his harpoon at the man, bringing him towards him. the man looked techno in the eyes and Techno delivered a swift blow to his head. chopping it off. Pocoloco let out a scream and Techno guided pocoloco to the left. He heard a voice from pocoloco. "You say something?"  
"N- No sir!" A small hand slapped Techno across the face, stunning him and sending him to the floor. Techno took sight of another rider and fired at them. He was sent towards them and was being dragged by the side. The man on the horse screamed and looked at him. He aimed his finger at techno as the horse increased in speed.   
"What are you gonna do? shoot me with a finger gun?"  
"Yes, actually!" The man's finger opened up revealing a large cannon of a gun. Techno's eyes widened and he was shot in the leg. the other man's yellow hair flew through the wind and the man was almost sent off his horse. Techno kept his grip and hopped on, holding a crossbow to the man's head. The man yelped as techno shot a hole in his head. Techno threw him off the horse and grabbed the reigns of the horse. Nearing up on someone who was... kneeling on a horse. the man increased in speed, a certain rectangle appearing in the horse's pattern. Techno recognized the color shade of it and aimed his arm at them. the horse he was on made the same formation as if it was a game of monkey-see-monkey-do. The other man thinned his eyes and shot a fingernail at the other, a pink aura flying around it. Techno fired around the same time and it grabbed onto the small object, flinging it around right back at the other, who was shoved on the ground. The man spun rapidly and his horse panicked. The other man shot himself in the head, and several holes followed techno.   
"Oh, you must be kidding me." Techno looked around, noticing the zeppelin in the distance. He guided the horse towards it. the holes still followed techno and he shot his harpoon at the ship. the recoil from techno flying towards there sent the horse to the ground. The holes absorbed the arrow and the ship bobbed around for a bit. Techno pulled his ax out and latched onto the side, rappelling upwards, and he saw a hole to his side. a torso came out of it and the man showed up, aiming his finger at techno. Techno kicked him in the face and flung himself towards the ship's fuselage. Techno shot his harpoon at the balloon, it bounced off and hit the floor of the ship. It brought techno to it and Techno readied his sword. the holes reappeared in front of techno. a man crawled out of it and aimed a finger at Techno. Techno saw his finger rotating and slid beside the man, chopping off his arm and holding his head on the ground. "Picked the wrong pig to mess with." And techno threw the man off the edge of the ship. Techno took a look down there before retreating to the medbay to tend to his wounds.


	7. The war of the roses.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Techno finally finds out.

Techno woke up to a loud crashing noise and the ship was rumbling. He heard cries of others and ran to the deck, half awake. The zeppelin was crashing through a building. which was odd. Techno had set the speed of the rotors at its lowest setting. He looked over a railing on the side and noticed he was above an entire city. He bolted to the cockpit and pulled the ship on reverse, maxing out the speed. The ship dis-lodged itself from the building and the top half collapsed, sending a large piece of it to the ground. Techno pulled his grapple around a railing and jumped down to the bottom. stabbing an arrow in the ground, attaching some rope to it, going back up there, and tying it around the railing. As he walked into the city everyone was in a panic. Techno approached the nearest man. It was pocoloco. "Hey, pocoloco." The man panicked and tried to run. Techno tied his leg in a harpoon and brought him to techno. "What the hell happened."  
"Y- You did sir! you brought in the blimp and it crashed into a building!" Techno scoffed and punched pocoloco across the face. Poco was sent to a wall and everyone around them circled around the two.   
"Where the hell am i?"   
"O- Olive mountain, sir!" Poco gulped and it was obvious. Techno looked at the crowd and saw some familiar faces. A man among them stood out, and techno held his sword towards him.  
"Easy, pig-man. we have enough forces to take you out. i don't think i properly introduced myself. My name is Wyatt horn. and you are?" His metallic skin shimmered in the sun's light.   
"Dave. Technoblade. Either is fine." Techno replied, putting down his blade. He unhanded Pocoloco and retracted his harpoon launcher. A man from the crowd shouted and another harpoon came his way. Techno dodged it. "Calm down there buddy."  
"its your fault for stealing my- *cough* tech!" A couple of snickers and giggles came from the crowd and Techno sighed.   
"So, do we have any idea on what to do?"  
"Well, we're being raided every three seconds, so it would be nice for that happened." A man with chains-for-arms stated.   
"Noted." Everybody in the crowd talked amongst each other. Techno saw this. "What's so rumor-worthy?"  
"Show us!" A man with curly brown asked. Techno recognised as the one of the pair in which he fought when he first showed up. "You have a stand, right?"  
"Punchy ghost things? no, i don't." The crowd rumored more. and the screaming from others that were not part of the crowd and the sound of chaos erupted. Wyatt ran backwards, the yellow beams showing up once more. Curt and the other guy hopped onto a plane with oye and va. the man with the gold gauntlet teleported techno onboard as well. The plane took off. and wyatt started talking.   
"Now that you're here, it couldn't have been better timing by the way, we can lead the final assault on them." Oye pulled a gun from his back pocket and shouted, before hopping off. "And there goes our pilot. COMO!" The gauntlet man teleported to the front seat and Techno primed his crossbow.   
"We win these!" He fired a random shot into the crowd of soldiers they were nearing. A shot hit, and a man fell on top of another, and they fell like dominoes. Techno laughed.   
"We're nearing their base. Our defenses should hold them off. but here's our squad. we got you, COMO, Oye, Va, Curtis, Johnny, Magenta Magenta, and Olive-cate, also known as mr-blue-sky."  
Olive-cate put his arm out to techno. "Pleasure to meet you!" Techno shook it, and it turned into chains. "Ah, i hate it when that happens."   
"So, COMO is the gauntlet man, Magenta is the other gauntlet man, and Johnny is..?" Holes glided across the wings, going inside the ship before unravelling, revealing a man who sat down.   
"Me." The man looked overboard and got a solid look at Techno.  
"Oh, hey you're the fingernail man."  
"Oh, hey you're the guy who killed my boyfriend! Shut the hell up!"   
"Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Techno made that remark. "Wait, why are we in this unreliable plane when we could be in my zeppelin?"  
"MY zeppelin." Wyatt yelled at techno. "You're lucky i didnt kill you on the spot for stealing it."  
"Sir, you were the one who crashed it." Wyatt scoffed. COMO said something in japanese and the plane was behind a large building.


End file.
